In this process of reinvention ( a process which we all go through at some point, in some manner), I have found one thing holds true: The biggest lesson to learn is that the old rules must be discarded! What was true for me as a young singer simply cannot hold sway now. I cannot make decisions based on those experiences, both good and bad, that influenced me before. To bring in the point of the title… I cannot simply dress up all the ways of my youth and send them out, expecting them to be seen in a different light. The Pig (I do not feel that my younger self was ‘piggish’, but I really love this phrase…had to work it in somehow), will still be seen as the Pig by others. Ultimately, I will be disappointed in the outcome, and perhaps cry ‘wee, wee, wee’ all the way home! Final Pig reference, I promise…
So, how might I go about reinventing my artistic self on a cellular level? How far must I go to get through the process, seen by others as ‘new and improved’ rather than ‘same old thing’?
The first step I am working with would appear to have no bearing on anything in my career (wait for it… I will try to tie it all together later). In my mind, it lies in answering these questions: Who am I now? What do I love? What lights me up?
Well, step by step… Who I am now is a more deeply settled human being. I am a compassionate and loving friend, a great listener, and most recently a mentor. I am also far more pulled to follow my instincts rather than seek immediate gratification or recognition. I am one who works to see the best in others, not criticize or judge, and to treat everyone as I wish to be treated… even if it requires brutal honesty, giving or receiving. I am also motivated by maintaining a high level of fitness, capable of cutting a handsome figure on and off the stage, and happy to report that most people are shocked when I confess my age. This is not meant to be narcissistic… in order to realize who I am, I have to acknowledge these things. I can no longer ignore them or discount them. I spent many years hating everything about myself, so I call this part of the healing process. Think me vain if you will; I promise you that this effort to ‘fall in love with who I am now’ has not been easy. I am impressed that I haven’t deleted all of this yet…
What do I love? I love my partner of nearly 19 years, Warren Teachout (also has a blog…yarnofspirit@wordpress.com)! I love my amazingly adorable cats, Nicholas and Oliver (both 18 and in excellent health). I love my mother Millie, brother Ron, and sister Linda. I love my friends… and happily say that the list is too long to spell out here. You know who you are, I hope. On another level: I love to cook. I am an experimental cook by nature, with a surprisingly high success rate! I love to write, read, spend relaxing time with friends, and sleep. No, I find nothing wrong with the idea of loving sleep! I love to work with my hands. I love to do DIY projects. I love rollercoasters. I love acting like a child, at times. Obviously, I love to sing. I love to be on the stage and make incredible music. I love to put my own heart and soul into the characters I represent in performance, and do my best to make it seem new every time.
What lights me up? Being healthy lights me up. Being in love lights me up. Having a full life lights me up. Having a wonderful network of friends in various fields of expertise lights me up. Being able to use the tools I have been given to pull myself out of those ‘dark nights of the soul’ lights me up (see my last post… although the lighting up doesn’t usually occur until after I have pulled myself out). Being the vessel for a Gift that touches so many people, including myself, lights me up. Being able to work with others on the development of their Gifts lights me up. While this may seem cheesy; simply being here often lights me up.
What amazes me in the list above is how little reference there is to ‘the singer’. If I had answered this same list of questions 15 years ago, I promise the list would look much different. To those that know me well, I think you would agree.
To summarize: In reviewing this list, which I created as I wrote, I find that there is a whole HELL of a lot more to David Adams than ‘Tenor’. I am a lover, a friend, a tiny bit of a Renaissance man, and many other things that make my life unique and pleasurable to me. I also find some things that I am not: I am not just a ‘throat’, I am not meant to suffer, I am not without merit. I am not unattractive (even now, I am trying to qualify that last statement). The quality of my existence is not determined by the opinions of others (and there are plenty of them out there). I am a long way from finished, and have all of the tools available to make the rest of my life spectacular!
To those of you reading… again, that you for doing so… how would you answer those questions? I dare you to try! Even better: Try to answer and comment on them for me. I would love to see what you uncover beneath who you think you are. If you are already so enlightened, share that! We are all on the same journey, so why not talk about it?
Now, this little Piggie (couldn’t help myself) just might be ready to head to market!