CF Part 2: Into the World We Go

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

• from Robert Frost’s Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening

First- thank you for coming back. For those who may have missed last week’s entry, take a look at “Cease Fire: Part One”. In it is presented this idea: If I intend to stand for peace in my communities, I must find it inside first. If I am able to call for a cease-fire within my heart and mind, I am far more likely to take that healing into my daily practices and interactions. Sounds too simple, you say? Try it; it isn’t. Moving on…

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you’ve taken some steps toward internal healing (which is an ongoing process), and feel somewhat ready for the next step- spreading the healing into your community. Where do you begin? What does this even look like? Here is the first of three ideas (yes, that means there are a few more entries underway), in no particular order, that might be of assistance:

Check your ID-

In 5 seconds, think of three words (easiest if you stick with nouns) you use to identify myself. Don’t puzzle over this, make it mean anything, or search for something deep. Here are mine: Male, Artist, Thinker. There is the framework for my ID. 

My ID will be the first, most direct filter through which I see the world. In a time of crisis, these words will determine my perceived level of safety. These crisis moments don’t have to be life or death; studies show that the mind doesn’t recognize the difference between perceived threat (fact plus imagination) and real threat (just fact). Every thought I have will pass through these personal filters. From there I get to choose which I will dismiss, and which I will engage. 

Being able to identify this core filter will be crucial when I put myself into a community- ponder this notion: At the core filter level, every community I enter is a diverse one, unless I walk into a room full of me (and that doesn’t sound particularly awesome). HOW diverse is the variant. Using my filter words, let’s see how this comes into play when moving into a community environment:

I go into a room at the local homeless shelter to strike up a compassionate conversation. The room is full of men and women of different ethnicities, different levels of education, and a host of circumstances by which all have arrived here. My filters want to begin the sorting process and create a ‘level of safety report’. In other words, my mind wants to create a ‘me vs. them’ scenario. If I do not mindfully intervene by using some method of calling a cease-fire in my own thoughts, authentic, deep, and compassionate conversation will be next to impossible. I must find a way to disarm my programmed way of seeing others and look for the unifying traits among us. Here’s a few: 

1) We are human beings.

2) We have all made mistakes.

3) We all seek to be heard and acknowledged.

4) We all seek love.

I must be willing to see these traits as the most important ones. Even if someone’s mode of expression is different from mine (i.e. if someone uses poor grammar or colloquial speech, I cannot let my filter jump in and call that ‘uneducated’), it still contains valid information. In order to truly hear that information, I have to calm my own internal battles- see part one for information on my method of doing so. My method may be different from yours, and that is okay. The end game is learning how to create an environment in which everyone feels safe enough to reveal and heal their most vulnerable wounds.

Feeling safe is vital for success in every situation. Part one of the Cease Fire series described creating safety within. Part two offers one way to begin creating safety in the nearby community. Again, I would encourage you to give this some thought. Also, please share your thoughts with me (be respectful, please!)

How do you manage your internal struggles? How do you bring peace to situations in your daily life? Are you led by your filters, or do you think/see/listen beyond them?

Heavy stuff, I know. But, we have a world to save…