As I walk steadily toward another season of auditions, teaching, mentoring, and performing, I also evaluate what it is I wish to accomplish as a person this year (having always been in the performing arts and now as a University teacher, I find my calendar year is August-August). I look to all I have accomplished in the last year and seek knowledge from these things. I look to the spiritual practices I follow for guidance as I move forward. Finally, I look to those areas where I felt I did not offer my highest and best, in order to begin cleaning up the product I present.
Yes, this is one of the toughest things to manage, in my opinion: As a singer, I simply offer a product to the world. It will be bought, sold, traded, judged, and sometimes passed by. As a person that sings, how do I separate myself from this process? How often do I meet artists that left the business because they were unable to navigate the business side of things? How many have walked away because they were unable to not take rejection personally? The deeper question: How many were unable to hold their specific, individual talent in high regard, and then simply shattered in the harsh light of the audition process? Answer: Many, many, many…
*As I have mentioned in previous posts, I will always try to keep this in first-person. As readers, I am merely sharing my experiences with you… do with them as you may (and thanks for reading)!*
Moving on. I find this to be the trickiest part of being a performing artist. I have to keep myself emotionally available in order to create and deliver that which makes my talent, well, mine. At the same time, I have to be able to remain aware that the average success rate for auditions seems to be about 1-in-35 (one job for every thirty-five auditions), if I am fortunate. Now, the nice thing that happens as I remain in the business is that these numbers have shifted. Due to connections and a fairly solid reputation my stats are a little better now. Also, in fairness, I am a tenor… nonetheless, I am responsible for the quality of the product at all times. I have to keep the packaging up to market value (stay fit), keep the contents from settling (feed my artistic side through rest, purely creative projects, and allow the occasional social indulgences), and be open to discovering ‘new and improved’ versions of my product (both through spiritual practice and diving into new repertoire and projects).
Even as I write this, I cringe! What a seemingly insurmountable list of things to manage, all the while preparing to subject this work to the scrutiny of others!
I have certainly had my fair share of escapist fantasies in which I never opened my mouth to sing again. I have thought I wouldn’t survive one more rejection. I have felt personally offended when I read that [TENOR NAME] got the job for which I sang an AMAZING audition! For the record, I have NOT ever fantasized about covering (the term used for understudy in the opera world) someone and ‘helping them’ down a flight of stairs right before curtain. Well, maybe that one time…
How do I keep my wares marketable? First and foremost, I must remain true to myself. If an opportunity comes my way that truly does not suit what I am up to in life, I must have enough self-respect to say no. I was taught as a child that only the weak say no to things… as an adult, I find the opposite is true. Keeping ‘spiritual alignment’ involves the ability to kindly accept and reject things as needed.
Next, I do the necessary work as a musician. So often, I come across people that have the notion things should just be handed to them, then prepared for them. No burden is assumed by these people (I refuse to call them artists or musicians) for the work ahead: It is someone else’s responsibility to make them ready. I say… NO! Pardon me, I don’t know where that soapbox came from…let me step down from it. Out of respect for the years of training I went through, the countless hours of work by those that believe in my talent, and my own artistry, it is up to me to dissect every score with fine detail. Through this, I gain insight into characters, the mind of the composer, the stories being shared, and my own interpretive desires for the work. Then, I am ready to take it to one of my trusted ‘team’ of teachers, coaches, and confidants for further polish. After this, the product is ready for its launch. The rest is up to the buyer!
It is a fairly simple formula, though not always easy to live by.
My point: I am only responsible for being the best, most marketable product I can be in any given moment. The last thing I want to hear is… Clean up, Aisle 3. Tenor down…bring the bucket, it’s quite a mess!
I avoid this, to the best of my ability, through the things I mentioned above. I must also know that some will buy repeatedly, some will buy once, and some may never buy. If I have done my part, I can live with that…